Ascending the North Face

It all started reasonably enough. I was just going to stop in and see if I could get some ultralight tights. REI, where I had just been had some but they were expensive. I was driving right by, why not stop in, besides the sign said SALE in big red letters. And so I entered North Face Nirvana. 30%, 50%, 75% off of the outlet prices! A heavenly forest of high tech fabrics in fashionable colors at deep discount! I don’t need another North Face jacket, or really cool clothes to exercise in, or fancy new hiking boots, or stylin’ sunglasses. And I just bought a windshirt so I don’t need a gorgeous, blue windstopper jacket. I did need tights though, and after half an hour of searching decided they were not to be found. The sleeping bags were tempting, half off ultralight down bags but I’m the kinda gal that needs a 20 degree bag and all that were left were 30 degree bags. I proudly strode towards the exit complimenting myself on not having bought a pile of stuff I don’t need. But then it grabbed me, a maroon and white HyVent jacket with zip in maroon fleece liner. ADDITIONAL 50% OFF the sign screamed as the jacket jumped off the rack and onto by torso. Waterproof, breathable, durable, lifetime guarantee – “HyVent is a superior waterproof/breathable technology utilizing a polyurethane coating that consists of a tri-component multi-layer formula for waterproof protection, moisture permeability and durability. In rigorous fabric testing at The North Face lab, HyVent showed extreme breathability with an average of 650 on the Moisture Vapor Transfer Rate scale and exceptional durability (an average of over 60 PSI on the waterproofing Mullens Tes).” How do you not fall in love with that? When did clothes start being made of technology instead of fabric? Well if I was going to buy the jacket then I might as well pick up the shirt I saw in the back. A short sleeve pink number so pretty I could wear to work, and with a secret little zip pocket so you don’t even need a purse when out for a walk. And really I could use a new hat, and some new gloves would be nice since I can’t find my old ones. All in all I made out very well, spending just over $100.00 and as soon as I came home I put an old fleece jacket and a windbreaker in the Goodwill pile. Next time I’ll know better, there is no resisting the North Face.